She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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