how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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