you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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