Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
