sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize