in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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