Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
