I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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