weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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