That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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