It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All the doctor said was why
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
