beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
