So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
