The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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