i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
