She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
