I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
