Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
