i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
ttyl tear gas
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Randomize
