so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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