there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize