Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize