Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
