I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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