So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
