It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize