hotel room ftw
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
