the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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