he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
