you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
