You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
