he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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