nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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