my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
