im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
