Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I did not marry a roomba.
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