my mouth tastes like poor choices
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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