Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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