She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
