he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
