Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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