I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You don't make any sense
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