Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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