He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
