babies were throwing up all over the place
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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