I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
