Four minutes until I can fart!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
