Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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