Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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