I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
