True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Randomize
