don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
