Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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