I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
