so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
