She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize