Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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