look no pants
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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