We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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