you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
