I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
